Hello!

I'm Jonathan Mark, international entertainer, demon leg-spinner and prolific scorer of ducks. You may know me from hits such as 'YMCA', 'West End Girls' and just about anything by Celia Cruz.

Anyway, I'm here today to ask for your help.

Rather ill-advisedly, I put some old photos of myself on Facebook, and our skipper has taken it upon himself to suggest in some quarters that I look like a bit of a fudge-packer in them. A nancy boy. A 'hello sailor' type. And I need your help to dispel these wicked rumours.

Below are some of the photos in question, and you also have a chance to vote on whether or not you think I look like one of those limp-wristed types. Please help me by voting against our wicked skipper!

Cheers,

JM

Yes, sorry, JM - you do indeed look like a bit of a girl, and I won't be sharing a changing room with you next year.
Ignore the skipper. He's clearly homophobic and probably fancies you. Don't worry about it.