Village Cricket Team gets DRS

Due to the vast number of errors in umpiring decisions in village and social cricket, a small village team has invested in their own version of the Decision Referral System (DRS). Maid Upton CC have spared no expense in installing cameras, hawk eye systems and hot spot at their small ground. A spokesman for the club was quoted as saying,

‘The system works so well at international level, having no tactical impact on the game whatsoever, but ensuring that questionable decisions can be referred on, bringing a greater level of fairness to the game.’

He then hopped onto the back of a pig and flew away.

This system is far from perfect as it does not take into account quantum mechanics and the possibility of divine intervention. The ball might suddenly inexplicably swerve off course, pass through the stumps, explode or disappear entirely, just because it hasn’t happened in the recorded history of the game does not mean it cannot happen.

On the flip side, I am told that the hawk eye system is based on the same system that the American military use to track their missiles to ensure they don’t miss their targets and as we all know, American missiles never miss!

In village and social cricket it is traditional for members of the batting side to take shifts in umpiring while they are not batting, this means the style of umpiring varies greatly throughout a match. Here at the Cavaliers we have our own, highly innovative, version of the DRS, that perhaps the big boys of cricket might find of use.

In the event of an lbw appeal, the umpire makes a decision over whether he thinks the batsman is out, if he is fairly certain (beyond a reasonable doubt) that the batsman is out, he will raise his finger, if he is sure the batsman is not out or is uncertain he will shake his head. Everyone else shuts up, accepts this and carries on playing.

In the event of a catch where it is unsure if the ball grounded or if the fielder crossed the boundary before the catch was taken, the fielder is required to be honest and sporting about this. The same is true of the batsman if he gets an edge to the ball and is caught behind, he is expected to walk if this is the case.

It is hoped that good sportsmanship at the lower levels of the game will be embraced by the children who watch village cricket and go on to play international cricket and this way of playing will work it’s way up the tiers of the game, until we reach a place where all international cricketers are able to accept the umpires decision and allow the game to continue it’s flow in the knowledge that these decisions probably balance themselves out over the course of time.


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